This murmur flashed in my mind.

I feel like I have to write quickly to be immortalized.

To later be your reading material.

To be a slick sharing material.

Although at this time I lay on my bed and feel feverish throughout my body.

--

Lately I have been processing all the great and unpredictable events in the past two to three months.

I never cease to be thankful for what I have now.

Honestly, I had a hard time five months ago, and when I experienced difficulties on the journey, I started asking, "Why did God give me a quite winding road like this?" "Why am I a very complicated person in making choices that at the end of the day it leads me to a disappointment and a journey to fight back?" Questions like that have long remained silent in my mind. Then, a friend of mine came and was like throwing a ball in my face. He said "Don't blame God about your journey. You are the one that just too picky. You throw away some golden tickets for the uncertain things". 

I was silent: "What happened to me?" 

It was my weakness but it was like running towards me to attack.

When some people started questioning why it took me a long time to get back to looking for a job, it felt like I just wanted to be quiet. Sometimes there are things in your life that you don't need to explain to others, because.. I felt like it wasn't human capacity to answer. In fact, I'm busy choosing career opportunities that already exist. People started to give their opinions about me. You know what? Opinions are like assholes and everyone's got one. 

Yes. I am, again, talking about careers.

I always base all my life's journey on God's plan. Don't get me wrong. I meant what I believed in. I just need time to choose the things that can stipulate my heart and confidence. It takes me blink by blink to get here.

Long story short, I ended up working at a state owned company. And ... this is where I was able to see silver lining why God wanted to direct me here. Yep I didn't expect that I would really fit in with the culture, the people, and the work. Hamdulillah. As Sophia Amoruso said that there will always be a silver lining in everything. Once you begin to see it you will need sunglasses to combat the glare.

Every time I reflect on my previous experiences, I realize that everything I hate at the end of the day always becomes the best choice for me. In fact, when I choose everything I like (but my parents don't) it always ends up being a scourge for me. Funny, isn't it?

Even if I may be honest, the current work is soooo hard, but I am very challenged to continue to be able to provide more value to the company. One thing that I can pick and make it as a value of learning in my career based on my experience: Choose a job that keeps you motivated to learn. It's hard, even very difficult. You don't give up at all. Instead, it makes you motivated and very comfortable with the circle. That's the right career for you. Compete with yourself, not others. Trust me, there will always be a secret opportunity in every failure you have experienced. One more thing: Don't forget to consider the choice between your parents.

Believe me it's only a matter of time and determination.

Hopefully it will be a reflection for everyone reading this.

Hopefully you continue to believe that God will not put you in situations that are not your capacity.